I was traveling from Jahangir Puri to Badali village on the northwest side of Delhi in a government bus when a girl in her mid-twenties asked the conductor “Uncle a five rupee ticket?” the conductor pointed to the front side of the bus probably suggesting that another conductor is standing on the front side. The girl went to the front side and came back giving a confused look to the conductor that no one is on the front side. The conductor in a vicious manner said “you said uncle” and further raising his voice said, “Do I look like an uncle?” He refused to give the ticket to the girl. His argument was that at least she should have said bhaiyya or bhai.
While witnessing all this and looking at the stunned and shocked face of the girl the feminist in me came out and I objected to the very unmindful behavior of the conductor. “People are already fed up with the city. No girl from outside Delhi is willing to come here. We should not show such an indecent behavior towards the girl at any cost” when he heard my comments he started argument by giving that 1000 year old analogy which every politician and women oppressor persuades to subjugate the half of our population- that women keep us dominating, that they do wear wrong clothes, that they do not give their reserve seat to old men, that you don’t know about ‘how the women of Delhi are’, that in our Haryana women wear full clothes, that women of Delhi are viciously characterless and so on.
Interestingly, I was not surprised by his comments as I have heard these comments from some class of politician of the country. More than the ethically absurd nature of his comment I was quite shocked by the deep belief he was showing in his ideology. He was defending his stand quite perfectly and without any hesitation.
The behavior of the conductor was showing a deep rooted belief and ideology which segregates the women of this country. It shows parallel version of strong patriarch belief. I was not shocked when he said that he is from Haryana as the state is known for one of the highest screwed female sex ratios in the country. Here, the question was not of one state but overall thinking which refuses to vanish with the developing industrialization, urbanization, and globalization.
If we try to find out where do this belief originates, we would certainly find the answers to these questions in our history. Aryans were the first people who tried to reduce the importance of women when they refused to allow participation of women in rituals. This segregation continued in the north India migrating via Manusmriti, Puranas to the Gupta period when the ill practice of Sati was started for the first time. With the advent of conservative Islam, the practice trickled down in every corner of India. Thanks to British Raj in which some radical transformation was made to free women from the clutches of patriarchy.
But the real question is as why the belief of women being inferior and should be dominated is still persistent in modern India. I think we can find the answer to this question in our family system and education system. The awareness of the male about this world starts with the family first. And to believe it, no child is that much talented to research with his own intellect, theoretically, as why or how women are weak or inferior. What I want to say is that it is the behavior of the male members of the family towards the female member confirms him that women are weak and he has every right to behave with them in an inferior way.
The second place where he learns or rather do not learn to behave properly with a girl is the school. I do find the decision of every school to have a separate sitting arrangement for girls and boys very objectionable one. This is where a male misses a chance to understand the soft side of the woman. Though one may argue that what is the need to sit them together when the child has the wide scope of learning to interact properly as he interacts with his mother or sister on the daily basis. But certainly interacting with mother or sister is different from interacting with another girl -friend, cousin or teacher.
This way he will learn to dismantle differences between male and female. I have found that in most of the schools the main reason for hating girls is this segregation. The male is unable to explore the core principle of women’s world- their ambition, their problem, their belief, their sorrow and their happiness. He hardly interacts with a girl for one or two times in his learning year which totally builds a wall between his class of male and female. I do believe that a woman’s voice has that power which stops him from doing an unethical activity.
The principal of community dining has proved to be a game changer to reduce caste segregation in south India. In that context, there is no doubt that a simple step to allow men and women to sit on the same benches on the same side will bring a paradigm shift in the mindset of Indian men.
Time and again it has been proved that education has nothing to do while calculating their behavior against women. We have found that the most educated people have shown the most indecent behavior. In that context, it is important to introduce the concept of ethical education in our school and colleges. The very fact that no school college or university has any course to sensitize about women’s issue shows the failure of our system in realizing the root cause of these entire problems.
In recent time, the issues of women’s security and their rights have come to forefront vigorously. It will definitely not easy for the societies, institutions and for people to save their women from the clutches of patriarchal behavior. In that context, women will need to empower themselves on their own parameter. In that case, a vigorous and profound movement from the women’s side is a need of the hour. A political party exclusively for women’s right is not a bad idea. Nothing will give more satisfaction and pride if this movement will be led by women themselves. Until then whenever women will find themselves weaker it will be a responsibility of men to safeguard the interests of ‘their’ women. There is no doubt that India is also a land of some brave men who will always come forward to save their women.
While witnessing all this and looking at the stunned and shocked face of the girl the feminist in me came out and I objected to the very unmindful behavior of the conductor. “People are already fed up with the city. No girl from outside Delhi is willing to come here. We should not show such an indecent behavior towards the girl at any cost” when he heard my comments he started argument by giving that 1000 year old analogy which every politician and women oppressor persuades to subjugate the half of our population- that women keep us dominating, that they do wear wrong clothes, that they do not give their reserve seat to old men, that you don’t know about ‘how the women of Delhi are’, that in our Haryana women wear full clothes, that women of Delhi are viciously characterless and so on.
Interestingly, I was not surprised by his comments as I have heard these comments from some class of politician of the country. More than the ethically absurd nature of his comment I was quite shocked by the deep belief he was showing in his ideology. He was defending his stand quite perfectly and without any hesitation.
The behavior of the conductor was showing a deep rooted belief and ideology which segregates the women of this country. It shows parallel version of strong patriarch belief. I was not shocked when he said that he is from Haryana as the state is known for one of the highest screwed female sex ratios in the country. Here, the question was not of one state but overall thinking which refuses to vanish with the developing industrialization, urbanization, and globalization.
If we try to find out where do this belief originates, we would certainly find the answers to these questions in our history. Aryans were the first people who tried to reduce the importance of women when they refused to allow participation of women in rituals. This segregation continued in the north India migrating via Manusmriti, Puranas to the Gupta period when the ill practice of Sati was started for the first time. With the advent of conservative Islam, the practice trickled down in every corner of India. Thanks to British Raj in which some radical transformation was made to free women from the clutches of patriarchy.
But the real question is as why the belief of women being inferior and should be dominated is still persistent in modern India. I think we can find the answer to this question in our family system and education system. The awareness of the male about this world starts with the family first. And to believe it, no child is that much talented to research with his own intellect, theoretically, as why or how women are weak or inferior. What I want to say is that it is the behavior of the male members of the family towards the female member confirms him that women are weak and he has every right to behave with them in an inferior way.
The second place where he learns or rather do not learn to behave properly with a girl is the school. I do find the decision of every school to have a separate sitting arrangement for girls and boys very objectionable one. This is where a male misses a chance to understand the soft side of the woman. Though one may argue that what is the need to sit them together when the child has the wide scope of learning to interact properly as he interacts with his mother or sister on the daily basis. But certainly interacting with mother or sister is different from interacting with another girl -friend, cousin or teacher.
This way he will learn to dismantle differences between male and female. I have found that in most of the schools the main reason for hating girls is this segregation. The male is unable to explore the core principle of women’s world- their ambition, their problem, their belief, their sorrow and their happiness. He hardly interacts with a girl for one or two times in his learning year which totally builds a wall between his class of male and female. I do believe that a woman’s voice has that power which stops him from doing an unethical activity.
The principal of community dining has proved to be a game changer to reduce caste segregation in south India. In that context, there is no doubt that a simple step to allow men and women to sit on the same benches on the same side will bring a paradigm shift in the mindset of Indian men.
Time and again it has been proved that education has nothing to do while calculating their behavior against women. We have found that the most educated people have shown the most indecent behavior. In that context, it is important to introduce the concept of ethical education in our school and colleges. The very fact that no school college or university has any course to sensitize about women’s issue shows the failure of our system in realizing the root cause of these entire problems.
In recent time, the issues of women’s security and their rights have come to forefront vigorously. It will definitely not easy for the societies, institutions and for people to save their women from the clutches of patriarchal behavior. In that context, women will need to empower themselves on their own parameter. In that case, a vigorous and profound movement from the women’s side is a need of the hour. A political party exclusively for women’s right is not a bad idea. Nothing will give more satisfaction and pride if this movement will be led by women themselves. Until then whenever women will find themselves weaker it will be a responsibility of men to safeguard the interests of ‘their’ women. There is no doubt that India is also a land of some brave men who will always come forward to save their women.
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